教育王國
標題: 社交經驗分享 [打印本頁]
作者: kelvin_hmlau 時間: 11-12-5 11:31 標題: 社交經驗分享
星期日帶了小兒去鰂魚涌公園. 有很多小孩玩, 小兒都係一個人玩, 大部分小孩都係一個人玩, 爸媽看管得很緊.
回家途中, 經過一個屋村小型遊樂場, 只有一個4歲多小孩玩. 小兒(5歲多)加入時, 那小孩相當熱情, 不斷要求小兒一起玩. 小兒亦經過引導下一起玩, 增加了一點和同輩玩的開心經驗.
其實想講的係如果想A仔有多點社交實戰, 去公園選人少時候, 和熱情但細一點的小孩玩亦不錯.
作者: Capricorn2521 時間: 11-12-5 12:37
我每星期都會同小朋友去公園玩。一路以來，我都係看得很緊嘅父母之一。因為我擔心我小朋友有時為了捍衛自己玩緊的玩具會粗魯對待其他孩子。較大的孩子會知道他堅持，就玩其他；但較細的孩子不會，反而會喊，人家看來就像大欺負細。所以通常在未有事情發生時，我就會對孩子說：同小朋友一齊玩。日子有功，情況己一步一步改善。到了昨天，我們到了將軍澳寶康公園，我終於第一次坐在旁邊的長椅看孩子玩，跟其他孩子有點亙動，沒有衡突......自覺地看見有人攀下，他就停止攀上，及先攀下。仲撩人地個daddy講野。我吾知佢地講乜，只見個叔叔笑笑口回應佢。
又在11月一個星期日，我們到坪石公園玩，那兒有2層的攀登假，起初是我，daddy及孩子3個人一起玩追逐，跟住有個7歲的哥哥叫我地一齊玩(佢自己一個人，mommy在附近打ping pong)，於是我地4個人就一齊玩，10分鐘後daddy累了退出，又20分鐘後我累了退出，於是只有亞仔同哥哥一齊玩，我和daddy看見孩子可以跟其他小朋友一齊玩，真係好開心。
[ 本帖最後由 Capricorn2521 於 11-12-5 12:44 編輯 ]
作者: kelvin_hmlau 時間: 11-12-5 14:21 標題: 回復 1# Capricorn2521 的帖子
oic. 你個仔喜歡同人爭同人搶, 我仔不喜歡小孩touch 佢, 會推人.
只有透過實戰先可以學會社交, 爸媽在旁必要時出手已ok. 我都期望將來佢地可以正常互動autorun.
似乎公園係一個免費的社交同感統的好地方.
作者: pocoyo123 時間: 11-12-5 16:28
早兩天先同亞仔的英文老師傾開計, 我話, 以前同亞仔上左兩年社交班, 進步也不及呢半年每天到樓下平台花園和其他小朋友玩咁好, 因我地住係私人屋苑, 而且大部份是小家庭, 所以平台很多小朋友玩, 最初去玩時, 有好多小朋友話佢蠢,成日話教極佢都唔識玩, 不太願意和他玩, 但小兒是一個過份熱情&主動的人,佢不放棄地叫人同佢玩,玩左一裶, 現在佢已有好多小朋友friend, 在公園玩到唔想回家, 所以, 我覺得社交真係要實地而不是由導師安排先有最好效果.講真, 以前我唔想同佢去公園, 係怕佢比人虾, 又怕有媽咪問佢在邊度讀書, 又怕人地發覺佢有問題, ,,,,好多好多, 擔心好多野, 直到佢轉返出來主流, 我先同佢出去公園玩, 有時諗, 我係咪好自私呢?
作者: pinky03290 時間: 11-12-5 17:24
我一星期都會帶小兒到公園玩,我多數坐在椅子睇住佢玩,其實佢好想同人一齊玩但不是太懂跟人相處,間中佢會自己埋到小朋友堆一齊踢球OR捉來捉去的遊戲,這些不是需要太多技巧的遊戲.有時會不守則給人話,要人地提佢佢先又跟番一齊玩,我多數不會理會由佢自自解決(安全情況下).不過好多時佢想叫人玩見佢成日食檸檬,例如佢見到一個小朋友在玩,佢會行埋去問 可唔可以一齊玩呀?唔知點解我見多數小朋友都會話唔好,唔知係咪佢問得太直接.
作者: kelvin_hmlau 時間: 11-12-5 17:48 標題: 回覆 2# pocoyo123 的文章
係咪好自私? 我覺得心態好正常...
其實我太太約見S位校長, 第一句就問校長: 可唔可以唔着協康件背心?
校長妙答: 其實校服的設計都同其他學校無分別.
我就同太太講: 就算唔着校服, 上左校巴人地都知個仔返協康啦!
作者: kelvin_hmlau 時間: 11-12-5 17:49 標題: 回覆 2# pinky03290 的文章
我覺得食檸檬都唔緊要, 可以練到d resilence (抗逆能力).
不過孩子的社交技巧, 可以慢慢提點改進.
作者: Capricorn2521 時間: 11-12-5 18:12 標題: 回復 4# pocoyo123 的帖子
你的想法.... 我在某時某刻都曾經有過。加上我要尋找一些合適的公園比不同階段嘅亞仔做感統及肢體協調訓練，所以我會帶孩子到不同的公園玩。2來不同公園可以帶給孩子新鮮感，增加趣味。3來我時時跟孩子一起玩，很少跟其他家長閒聊，所以就算有人問我孩子在那兒讀書，我會告訴她"附近"，然後我會反問佢問題，不會直接答佢。
其實我們為孩子已付出了很多心思，承受更多壓力。以前d人都吾會覺得玩係咁重要，幾時帶孩子去公園都吾遲。
作者: Torres 時間: 11-12-6 00:04 標題: 回復 1# kelvin_hmlau 的帖子
hi, kelvin,
你提醒了我, 實戰先可以提升佢既社交技巧, 上咗社交班3個月, 導師一句一句句子教佢, 阿仔的確可以慢慢用返出來, 但當佢同小朋友相處時, 我就提佢同人講: 我地一齊玩呀, 但玩了一陣, 都係自己走開了, 不能持續!好, 我今個星期開始要同佢去多d公園實戰多d先!
作者: xixi1218 時間: 11-12-6 09:54
這個TOPIC令我很共鳴，真的如kelvin_hmlau所講，如果遊樂場孩子好多，就未必有孩子很認真同一個像我們這種社交弱的孩子玩，而且如果剛好碰到只有一兩個個年紀小一點的孩子在玩，那麼真的是很好的機會。最好他們只有菲傭帶著，因為這樣也沒有媽媽會問你孩子在哪裡讀書什麽的，所以，pocoyo123的想法我也一樣，我總覺得怕自己碰到熟人而問東問西，當然這不能怪別人父母，因為這是普通父母最常打開的話題，可是對於我，就真的看到就想掉頭走，這方面，我真的是覺得有虧欠孩子。。。。。
作者: kelvin_hmlau 時間: 11-12-6 11:21
Torres, 慢慢來, 最緊要係搵到同人玩的樂趣同所需技巧, 就能autorun...
xixi1218, 很久沒消息了, 孩子最近怎麼了?
作者: BB頭maimimi 時間: 11-12-6 14:06 標題: 回復 11# kelvin_hmlau 的帖子
我鍾意同亞仔去屋村的公園,因為那裏的父母冇睇得咁緊,試過有次有個細過我個仔的小朋友成日推我個仔,我同我老公都冇出聲,因為想比亞仔自己解決,點知竟然係對方父母話我個仔推人,我老公即刻出聲話番對方。
作者: fatpam 時間: 11-12-6 14:57
大廈保安員問我點解佢轉校，讀邊間學校架， 我只係講地區
其實如果問起，大家會否對鄰居 / 朋友如實相告?
接佢放學見到校車個名，又見到其他正常小朋友放學同家人有講有笑，個心都有D淒涼。
原帖由 xixi1218 於 11-12-6 09:54 發表 
這個TOPIC令我很共鳴，真的如kelvin_hmlau所講，如果遊樂場孩子好多，就未必有孩子很認真同一個像我們這種社交弱的孩子玩，而且如果剛好碰到只有一兩個個年紀小一點的孩子在玩，那麼真的是很好的機會。最好他們只有菲傭帶著，因 ...
[ 本帖最後由 fatpam 於 11-12-6 15:05 編輯 ]
作者: xixi1218 時間: 11-12-6 22:47
原帖由 fatpam 於 11-12-6 14:57 發表
大廈保安員問我點解佢轉校，讀邊間學校架， 我只係講地區
其實如果問起，大家會否對鄰居 / 朋友如實相告?
接佢放學見到校車個名，又見到其他正常小朋友放學同家人有講有笑，個心都有D淒涼。
...
我暫時還沒那個勇氣去如實相告，如果有人覺得他奇怪我也只是圓場地說一句他比較膽小，比較內向，或者說他發展比較慢。我不確定大家聽到自閉會有什麽反應。。。。不想嚇到人，也不想傷害到自己。如果有父母很平靜地告訴別人自己孩子的事情，我覺得真的很佩服，那需要很大的勇氣和很好的心理素質。
作者: xixi1218 時間: 11-12-6 22:54 標題: 回覆 11# kelvin_hmlau 的文章
kelvin_hmlau ，多謝你的關心，最近孩子脾氣好了很多，雖然每天都有讓我有些累和煩甚至氣，但是如果要我安靜地去回想和總結。我就能發現他真的進步了。感恩。
作者: pocoyo123 時間: 11-12-6 23:50
xixi1218:
以前亞仔在S位時, 這兩年也只限於學校門前的公園玩, 因在那裡所有家長也是SEN小朋友, 大家也沒有隔膜, 可以傾下計, 互相扶持, 回想起好像對亞仔唔住, 媽媽沒有勇氣去面對其他人眼光.........
不要說陌生人, 我連自己家人也沒有說, (除了幾個要好的朋友知道外), 有時也很討厭自己...
對不起, 樓主, 我們離左題
作者: xixi1218 時間: 11-12-7 09:21
原帖由 pocoyo123 於 11-12-6 23:50 發表
xixi1218:
以前亞仔在S位時, 這兩年也只限於學校門前的公園玩, 因在那裡所有家長也是SEN小朋友, 大家也沒有隔膜, 可以傾下計, 互相扶持, 回想起好像對亞仔唔住, 媽媽沒有勇氣去面對其他人眼光.........
不要 ...
我們很相似~
作者: kelvin_hmlau 時間: 11-12-7 10:01 標題: 回復 3# xixi1218 的帖子
很高興聽到你的兒子有大進步! 記住將d 開心野帶到明天. 明天開局順利, 整天都會心情愉快. 教養才可持久.
作者: Ladybirth001 時間: 11-12-7 11:50 標題: 回復 16# pocoyo123 的帖子
我也是沒有「正式」告訴親友，只提及他有些問題需要執。其實自己以往對於「自閉」及「特殊學校」一直存有誤解，所知的實在太表面及不足，所以在無詳細解釋下，難期望他們會完全理解。
對不起，扯開了話題，樓主你的topic很好，令我們獲益良多，畢竟社交是A仔其中最弱的一環。
作者: xixi1218 時間: 11-12-7 12:51
原帖由 kelvin_hmlau 於 11-12-7 10:01 發表
很高興聽到你的兒子有大進步! 記住將d 開心野帶到明天. 明天開局順利, 整天都會心情愉快. 教養才可持久.
哈哈，“將d 開心野帶到明天. 明天開局順利,”這個描述很有趣啊。
作者: apple~y 時間: 11-12-7 15:22 標題: 回復 5# pocoyo123 的帖子
我仔仔番緊s位
我只說給一位知心好朋友知
兩邊家人完全無講
我只說方便照顧妹妹,所以轉哥哥去第2間番全日班
我只係覺得家人唔明白,同一定唔接受
跟住好擔心,不停問問問
我要解釋再解釋,跟住大家親戚就會標籤小朋友
時時留住他的行為,小小事都可以放到好大
我唔想再受呢種壓力
又好似同小朋友去公園都會選人小小時間
就會好些
有時玩滑梯我仔仔手腳慢,後面小朋友係0甘
講"借借","唔好阻住",有時仔仔來不及反應都比人推,係側邊媽媽望住我0地個眼神係話比我知唔怏D抱開個細路,阻住晒
我有時都覺得唔公平,我又無做錯事,壞事
點解仔仔同我要受人呢種目光
[ 本帖最後由 apple~y 於 11-12-7 15:25 編輯 ]
作者: LPYdad1 時間: 11-12-10 00:55 標題: 回覆 1# apple~y 的文章
A few things I could share w/ u gals in this area, but it is quite broad and subjective if u dont mind.
First, dont expect too much in social acitivity if yr kid is below 3.5-4 in overall ability. I suggest u to concentrate on playing in playground instruments with adut's supervision first to enhance overall ability.
If stage already passed, best idea is to beginning to play with kids & parents KNOWN to each other since it is easier to control.
If stage is also passed, u really would like yr kid to start to play w/ other unknown kids in playground. In the beginning, I suggest u to think about creating an environment.
Here is my example to make it specific.
When I brought my son to playground ( in Quarry Bay before I moved) at 3.5 yrs old, and started him to give up too many time playing instruments alone and tried him playing with other unknown kids. I started him to play bubble blowing in beginning since he likes it, easy to handle, and playing individually.
Most importantly, it has a very very clear and non-easily-distracted individual & group focus - that is blowing a bubble.
At that time, I got him a straw (easier to blow), and 3-4 bubble blowing sticks and a small plate. My son blows bubble and I pick up a stick to blow with him. At the same time, I also lend other sticks to unknown kids to blow bubbles together in playground. A small plate i will pour bubble liquid and allow them to share with each other including my son. I sit and guide the plate and blowing bubbles, too. Some other smaller kids like chasing bubbles. Some are lining the sticks to blow. My son would dig the bubbles together w/ other kids, blowing bubbles w/ other kids together. This is the beginning of his social activity in playground. It is important since he learns what is the group activity though not many interaction at that moment, but he knew he is one of those (even though he is actually weak using mouth to blow, therefore, his bubble straw is actually easier to use compared with sticks) and he also learns the ideas of follow and sharing.
U may try this as the beginning bit. Next level could talk next time if u want to hear.
One more thing, I just came across a hostility case with solution a wk ago when an unknown kid of a group said to my son ," I dont want u to play with us." If u want to hear, I could perhaps write u gals.
[ 本帖最後由 LPYdad1 於 11-12-10 01:11 編輯 ]
作者: musicboxjoanne 時間: 11-12-19 07:26
thanks for s
haring
作者: iuman 時間: 12-3-8 01:27
回復 LPYdad1 的帖子
thanks for sharing and want to know more.
作者: LPYdad1 時間: 12-3-9 03:10
本帖最後由 LPYdad1 於 12-3-9 03:20 編輯
回復 iuman 的帖子
Dear iuman,
After blowing bubble, my next step is to help him playing along with other kids (It is different from asking him to play with other kids together. That is another step. Perhaps you will understand more when I quote the sample later in the passage)
Always remember there are 3 main rules to help your kid to play for social purpose.
1, Never never ever force him to do something when it is considered as "playing". You might make him try something new but please withdraw whenever he/she did not like.
2. Your key role is to encourage and creating an atmosphere. By then, help him or guide him if necessary. Full intervenution should be carried when there is a chaos.
3. You need some guiding skills ( I will share with you later) if necessary.
My son enjoyed a lot playing slides. So, what I did is starting to encourage him to competing with other kids to slide in playground when he was 4. Whenever he slide, I will say something like, "You slide faster or the boy next to you slide faster?" Of course, most kids will say he himself is the fastest. So, I will say,"The faster please raise your hand after slide." Most kids again will compete to raise their hands as fast as they could after finished one slide. I will then encourage my son and othe kids to competing to climb the stairs, sit and then slide. The competition goes on and on for half hr to 1 hr. I will probably say both are the fastest or you kids are tide in most cases.
Such competition game I also apply to running, swing or even cycling. The basic idea is to encourage the social interaction and awareness of my son with other kids and the environment.
If such stage is passed. Next step is seeking him to play other kids together.
Parent's role will be more tricky and selective.
Talk to you next time if you are interested.
作者: Olympian 時間: 12-3-9 10:50
The 2 approches LPYdad mentioned are really nice.
My son situation is similar to apple~y case. I always tell other kids to wait for my son and prasie them for their patience afterward.
However, my son is getting more and more alert for unkown kids, he will scream or run away if they get too close to him.
He often goes to the elderly instruments area to get rid of them. :;pppp:
... and he loves the instruments there.... 
So, it may good for him to play at the time when there's not much kids and of course, better with known kids, but not easy to arrange lor...
作者: iuman 時間: 12-3-10 23:44
回復 LPYdad1 的帖子
好多謝你分享甘有用的技巧比我地。我個仔差唔多四歲，巨系好中意去遊樂場玩，玩到唔肯返屋企。但系我留意到巨系有同人玩ge意思，不過唔識表達需求。當然我有教巨講不如我地一起玩啦之類的開場白，但系同di小朋友對話對巨黎講顯得吃力。所以如果玩滑梯，追逐跑之類巨會比較好，因為用肢體語言。巨中意模仿人地ge玩法。你之前講的玩吹波波我第二日即刻去試咗，開始巨自己玩，但後來小朋友多咗大家一起追波波，巨亦表現好興奮。所以我覺得呢個系一個相當好ge群體遊戲體驗。雖然無需語言，但可以讓巨知道系一大班人一起參與。好多謝你的分享，真系獲益良多。希望睇到你多啲ge好辦法。不過香港實在太少遊戲場地，同埋除咗假期，好少有多啲小朋友一起玩lor。
作者: LPYdad1 時間: 12-3-11 18:44
本帖最後由 LPYdad1 於 12-3-12 17:58 編輯
回復 iuman 的帖子
Dear iuman and Olympian,
Thank for your encouragement.
For iuman, please dont worry too much about the speech level to social activity and friendship. We all knew that speech ability plays an important part to social needs. But I dont think it is the most important part. Allow me to say, u make friends with people, including other parents, collegues or yr soul mates not out of their speech ability, right? Similarly, yr kid make friends, not coz he could speak beautifully. I remembered I wrote a passage (which I forgot where it is I am so sorry) in BK. The primary primary platform of a friendship or a relationship is that we are having the same interest, for kids, mostly is FUN. What we could do is providing a platform & some guidance to yr kid to enjoy playing with other kids. Talk more about this step next time if you are interested.
For Olympian, basically agreed w/ what u said. But somehow dont worry too much about the bothering other kids from yr child's delay. Everyone is different. In general, I think it is a treasure for my kid knowing that some people are different. It should be a gd lesson for other kids to know some people walk slower or faster, some people speak more or less, etc. For myself, I will tell my son to walk faster or stand aside and/or ask other kids to wait for him in a queue. If the delay is a bit more serious, I will probably ask my son to play with younger ones who matched with his ability. But please remember everyone is different and it applies to both delayed and non-delayed kids. My son also like to play with elderly instruments before. I dont stop him since he stay for a while. But if he stay too long, I will ask him to leave since i think it would be bored and he might miss other beautiful playing chance of a playground. It is a natural thing and I think it applies to all kids.
作者: AnsonWong2009 時間: 12-4-26 09:24
你哋啲小朋友和正常小朋友啲行為很接近,點解會覺得喺A仔?
作者: Olympian 時間: 12-4-26 17:44
哈哈﹗唔係我地覺得佢A，係經醫生診斷評估出來的結果。
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