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回復 203# thomasha 的帖子
Yes ! I totally agreed you're not the smart parent. Also, you're the lazy parent too, it's what you descr. yourself.
As I said before, you get more of the behaviour you reward. You don't get what you hope for, ask for, wish for or beg for . You get what reward.
All parents want to raise a happy, successful child, but there is little agreement about how best to reach this goal. Over the years, parents have tried dramatically different recipes. They have put their baby on a schedule, or they have fed on demand; they have let their baby cry herself to sleep, or they have picked her up as soon as she cried; they have stayed home with their child, or they have entrusted her to day care and gone to work; they have taught their baby letters and numbers, or they have left her mind a clean slate for her teachers to write on; they have given their child whatever she wants, or they have made her earn what she gets; they have made their child do chores, or they have asked little of her around the house; they have demanded good grades, or they have let their child find her own level in school.
These contrasting parenting strategies arise from quite different views of the nature of children and childhood and the roles of parents. Some parents view their child as naturally social and their job as allowing her the space to thrive, while others think that their child is by nature out of control. Some parents are convinced that their child is morally innocent, while others believe she is wily and manipulative. Some parents see their child as inclined to be dependent and needing help to leave the nest, while others are convinced their child needs constant attention and guidance.
Whether you are the parent of a newborn or an adolescent, the parent of one child or five you may worry about making the correct response to your child when she cries, makes demands, is frightened, wants constant cuddling and other attention, or won't do what is good for her (for example, she refuses to eat her vegetables, go to sleep, do her homework, or come in at curfew).
As parents and as mental health professionals we have lived and struggled with these same fundamental issues. The discoveries we made in the course of decades of researching the subject of the true nature of the child, as well as the question of the necessary ingredients for a child's healthy emotional development, have given us a new understanding of children and childhood, which, in turn, led us to create guidelines that all parents can use to parent lovingly but knowledgeably and effectively. Hence the term smart love.
Anyway, I don't think the non-smart parents & lazy parents can understand what I'm saying. |
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發表於 10-11-12 18:13
