improve social skills

leungchai

My kid is a very "straight" boy.  He's obedient but too bad that his social skills are poor.  He's not easy to start a meaningful and smooth conversation with his peers, though he loves to play with them.  I worry that he might be perceived as "odd" as time goes by, especially if compares with those mature kids.

Can anyone grant me some ideas of how to improve his social skills? I feel sad sometimes as though he loves his school, he could not enjoy the interactions from the day-to-day friendship with his peers.   I could really hardly think of any methods to improve it.

Please help!!

happyvalley

原帖由 leungchai 於 10-2-3 00:15 發表
My kid is a very "straight" boy.  He's obedient but too bad that his social skills are poor.  He's not easy to start a meaningful and smooth conversation with his peers, though he loves to play with t ...

如果有兒童的某 d 病，就應該去看看兒科醫生。

如果唔係病，方法就非常簡單，亦見得太多，只要去做，就會見到成果，就是…『身教』，閣下應該很少和妳的小朋友一齊，去接觸其他的家長們，談天說地，無所不談。

只要在和小朋友一齊，多多與其他人多多吹下水，唔洗咁認真的，乜都講餐飽，將來就好似我個囡，全校包括校長，都同佢講野 (是我個囡搵校長講野 bor) 講番半個鐘。

JJandSS

how old is he? mine is 6, very very serious social problem before,  did not talk, greet others, don't mention to play, but i know he want to plan.  boys got higher chance of this problem. sometimes,  he makes me very embarrassing (sometimes he would cry when i ask him to greet others, he was 5 at that time) and upset and so worry that i did not know how to describe.  really need patience and understanding. My son's kindergarten life is my 'dark age' of my life.

but always try any possibility and method, one doesn't work, doesn't mean his problem , try another.

Like happyvalley said, bring him out to act as role model.

other than this, i try many ways,
1) bring him to all activity even though you feel very boring, such as all birthday party (i did not miss one for his whole kindergarten life), playground.  It is good that your son love to play, just like mine, i obseve that he loves to play, but did not know how to play  and without any confidence . So with more activity, he can also observe others and learn to play (like my son, he would sit aside first, observe and join when he is really ready) .  Also, during the activity, you may observe his problem and correct him. may be some boys are late in present and communicate, like my son, when he played, he tried to push others. so when we were back to home, i would teach him the manner, say, ' can i play together' instead of pushing. etc. sometimes, i even do role play

2) participate activity with performance, team playing and conversation.

With yrs of observation, i found my son is weak at speech and conversation, that make him no confidence to participate others' game and make friends.  so, i enroll him into drama class, you need to speak up, with team work and perform on stage. before he just study phonics and maths class that cannot improve his social skill.

3)if possible, pick one of his strength to train him up
since i guess my son got communication and confidence problem.  i want to build up his confidence . and he loves english, so i spent relatively more effort on his english from kindergarten, even his teacher said she always used him as the role model in the class. when he grow up, it seems he start to differntiate his english is better than most of his classmates, and definitetly help him to build up his confidence in front of the othrs

At the turn of 6, all of sudden, he becomes very cheerful, and talk from day to nite.  Now he is in primary 1, i participated some of his school activities, he improved a lot, always raised up hands to feedback and ask question( even though some question is very stupid).  the most surprising findings is some boys chasing and approaching him , and my boy can make stupid jokes that make them laugh.

I cannot figure out what helps, may be boys are late to develop communication skill as i know some mommies got the same problem for boys. but if really worry, it is definitely good to pick some classes that can encourage speak up, with more team playing chance.  If the problem is caused by speech delay or problem (just like my son), it is not a problem to see doctor for therapy, it is very common now.

Just like my friends whose son got bigger probem than ours, the doctor train him on speech and communication, now he is much better and behave like normal child.

Don't be frustrated, don't give up, they are still small and got a lot of ways to fix.  every  kid got its own problem, it is not their problem, the problem is how to identify the best way to suit them.  Keep up, as a mommy, long long way to go

JJandSS

原帖由 leungchai 於 10-2-3 00:15 發表
My kid is a very "straight" boy.  He's obedient but too bad that his social skills are poor.  He's not easy to start a meaningful and smooth conversation with his peers, though he loves to play with t ...

[ 本帖最後由 JJandSS 於 10-2-3 11:10 編輯 ]

BusyMommy

my elder son had the same problem when he was young, he's reluctant to play with other kids and talk to others, daddy and i were very worried. he only liked to learn and read, we enrolled him to 2 courses, let him learn and communicate with others, the teachers there encouraged him a lot, and gradually, he started his conversation at that centre, then talked with the relatives then chatted with lot of strangers afterwards.  Dont worry, just let him meet different people, maybe one day you will find that he has changed! don't worry too much, maybe it's just a temporary problem.

happyvalley

其實我留意到件事，不過唔知有冇關聯，就是妳地幾位英文都好叻，會不會小朋友細時，用英文多過中文，所以中文人講野會有點不明白。