邊間大學愉快學習，活動教學，又唔谷?

eviepa

//eviepa, I feel happy for you as your daughter is very self-discipline in balance of life!
There must have some motivations behind?! But, in reality, too few children can handle that not even adult//

其實我女兒並不self-discipline。舉個例，去年她對我說：「如果你每星期不指定，我自己肯定不會做功課以外的數學練習。」

她自發能力遠遠不如我這個當年的二流學生，但好在她和我的親子關係非常好，不抗拒我的督促，亦需要我的督促。

她不抗拒的原因是，我希望她預留大部分課餘時間來玩樂，小部分時間做學問，符合她的想法。

有多輕鬆？例如，我和她的協定是，歷史、地理、數學每科每週1.5小時的溫習（歷史、地理（中文中學））或功課以外的練習（數學）。她自己也覺得非常輕鬆，但中四年尾計數，年度成績，歷史、地理全班第一（不是全級），數學全班第二。她這三科真的非常好，高分並非幸運使然，數學和我這個當年文科數學高材生相約，歷史地理遠勝我當年。

PoPofamily

回復 chunyatmama 的帖子

Very good sharing, You two are on the right track for good parenting. It is not easy in Hk to up-hold one's believe.  My job is half done, my elder one had gradulated from U, Parents add oil !

chunyatmama

Yanamami 發表於 12-9-27 22:35
很多都說在英讀中學(較正規, 沒US那么無王管), 再到US讀大學最好. 取其所長. 你認為呢?

Haha, to me, if possible, I would like to have my kids study in UK for undergraduate and go to US for post graduate.  If they can finish their secondary school here in HK.  Otherwise, your suggestion is also acceptable to me.  I do not like too much freedom and the value system in US.  Though my hubby has second though.

chunyatmama

Just obtained the permission from my hubby to write about him.  (Actually, I have written about him already)

As said, his parents are just like other traditional local ones.  They were busy for their works rather than the children's education.  When he was in P.6, he picked a Secondary School randomly.  He was given a Band 5 2-storey shopping arcade like Secondary School.  He stayed in that school for about two weeks.  

Then he was successfully switched to his 2nd school which was a Band 1 school near Yaumatie.  When he was in form 2, there was once he was scolded by a male teacher for talking in the class.  My hubby was angry as he had not.  Thus, he kicked the teacher@@  He was then expelled by the school.  

Then he switched to his 3rd maybe band 3 to band 5 school to complete his junior secondary.  He was then switched to his 4th school near Sham Shui Po.  I guess it was a band 3-5 school at that time.  At the school, he was still very playful and not interested in studying.  He made a lot of friends.  Some were bad, really bad, and some were good.  He reminded himself that he should not follow the bad guys even if they play together.  I think he was mature in this aspect.  Those friends from this school are still his best friends by now despite most of them are not well educated.  

After taken two times HKCEE, he failed in most of the subjects, except Chi and Maths.  His brother at this time was preparing to go to San Francisco to continue the high school.  My hubby asked himself what he should do.  His strength is taking photos and drawings (while her family supported him nothing).  Yet, he did not want to have his career just with these two skills.  He asked for his parents if he could go to US with his brother to further study.  The answer was……..

Yanamami

chunyatmama 發表於 12-9-28 09:17
Just obtained the permission from my hubby to write about him.  (Actually, I have written about him  ...

Wow~~~ What a story.  To be honest, your hubby would be someone I definitely keep away from at school (sorry to say that....). Kicking the teacher....@@''''' I'm surprised that he wasn't forced to join the real bad guys' group (gangsters) at that time.  Lucky! He has his target and unlike the others who don't really know what they want and heading towards in the future.

MacMa

回復 chunyatmama 的帖子

An impressive story!

Frankly speaking, your hubby was so lucky and knew to remind himself not to follow the bad guys that time, otherwise, it would be another story!  But not all the teenagers can have such a clear mindset, and they even don't know what is right or wrong, especially they are all mommy's boys and girls,too bad!  

Monster parents' over-protection should take the blame for such situation nowadays.

chunyatmama

Just back from a meeting

The 2nd part of the story:

His mother said if he could manage to obtain an approval from the embassy for which no one would help him (in fact, I guess his parents was lazy and not really care if he managed to get the approval : P), he could join his brother.  So, my hubby sought all information and went to apply for the student visa.  I guess there were not many agents or consultants offered assistants to students who want to study overseas.  

When he arrived the embassy, a Chinese ambassador met him and commented that his academic result was far too bad and he did not think my hubby could manage.  Thus, he rejected his application.  Not knowing that one being rejected could not apply for the 2nd time, my hubby did not believe in faith and applied again.  Strangely, the embassy did not know this was his 2nd time to apply and arranged another ambassador to meet him.  For this time, it was an American lady.  My hubby presented sincerely with his limited English (remember he knew only 26 alphabets and some simple English only) to talk to the lady.  The lady was moved by him and granted him the chance to go to US with his brother to start all over again.

Thus, he started his 5th secondary school in US.  This was his turning point that he realized he could not waste this chance and thus he studied all subjects seriously.  The high school in SF offered students like my hubby a supplementary English Foundation class.  My hubby said his teacher was wonderful.  His English improved a lot.  His brother even said he could chase back all the time wasted in HK and his English standard becomes very good since then.

Afterward, he chose to Study Architecture in US with minor subject of photography.

Boring story, huh?  I strike out some details in between and to make it not so bored.

Yanamami

chunyatmama 發表於 12-9-28 11:03
Just back from a meeting

The 2nd part of the story:

Not boring at all! It's actually so very inspiring.  He had such courage to go for a 2nd time meeting with the ambassador and that proved his determination to study overseas.  The story also shows two completely different approaches by Chinese and Westerner towards people with less achievement.

chunyatmama

Yanamami 發表於 12-9-28 11:15
Not boring at all! It's actually so very inspiring.  He had such courage to go for a 2nd time meetin ...

In addition, there is a lesson to learn from as a parent.  My hubby's parents provided him with not much help but just scold and beating because 1. they have no knowledge and 2. they do not believe he can achieve something good owing that his academic result was bad.  They even do not believe that my hubby was a honour student in the high school.  Even if my hubby's aunt in US told my hubby's parents about this =='

ANChan59

回復 Yanamami 的帖子

Same actor, different approaches, different results !!!

One-Mama

What an inspiring story to both teenagers & parents!

As parents, we always find it difficult to achieve an equalibium point - not too authoritative & neglectful to our kids.  Add oil!

annie40

回復 chunyatmama 的帖子

Dear Chunyatmama,

Tears swam in my eyes when reading this true story.  Thank you so much.

经常想最差成绩的孩子的内心也是很想学好的, 只不过是没有机会, 勇气, 和方法吧!  这儿有个很重要的关键是你的丈夫当年的自发性, 不必helicopter parents 安排, (父母却少知识), 自己对自己负有责任, 把握机会,做到最好.  

忽发奇想,  今天还是毫无方向的大孩子, 父母要否扮'破产' 扮'患绝症', 让他们从绝境中重新认真地思考自己的前途.

annie

P.S. 非常残忍, 未必容易做到.

ANChan59

回復 annie40 的帖子

睇完妳的回應，我都好有同感。

ANChan59

昨日都有考慮去改題目及極少部份評論，看完妳們的回應，我決定企硬，不用改。

因為妳們用正能量來看，所以有正面力量.....

chunyatmama

回復 annie40 的帖子

Thank you very much.  Knowing my hubby's story, I love him even more.  He deserves more love but just his parents do not understand him.  He was such a good kid with strong mind.  When he is focused, he can do things good.  It applies in his old days and present.

ANChan59

回復 annie40 的帖子

未至於咁樣做。我覺得小朋友會明白既，給他們少少空間，壓力少，他們會知父母的苦心。昨日阿仔講俾我聽，他知我們的鋪排，苦心，期望。他扮野，調較及管理我們的期望..... 到達他的目標，他先盡訴心中情。好感動。

laorenjia

ANChan59 發表於 12-9-25 23:44
邊間大學愉快學習，活動教學，又唔谷?

ANChan59 講的，不完全是戲言。很多時候，包括自己在內，在子女揀選大學時，總放唔低份虛榮心，往往以學校名氣為依歸，而忘記了子女的能力、興趣和目標。我自己就有點後悔鼓勵女兒揀了一間雖然開學冇耐但半夜12點圖書館依然高朋滿座的大學。

ANChan59

令我最膽戰心驚的情況在美國名牌大學的校園，我見到不少宣傳防止自殺的海報及熱線電話處處。英國及澳洲少d。

ANChan59

Yanamami  OZ人個mindset好relax, 與世無爭嘛, 點會自殺?  

************

所以都唔鼓勵阿仔去澳洲讀大學，因為太 lay back，阿仔應該識平衡，EQ及AQ都OK，唔會搞到自殺。

vincher

回復 ANChan59 的帖子

此帖子係你幽默之作，反而能引發各網友的討論和分享!妙!I like