狼爸「三天一頓打」 三子女入北大

motherotk

"嚴厲的體罰"
Very uncomfortable that "考試粗心大意被扣分,打;書本作業本不整潔,打;丟失文具衣物,打"
Seems to use Behavioral Modification Theory, but why use "punishment" only, may use other strategies, such as time out or withdrawal of previliedges??

Admitted to Beijin University, then, so what, kids learn the same parenting from parents, when he becomes a teacher, he uses the same way to teach his students???

motherotk

may defined as childhood physical abuse?

motherotk

Few years ago, had opportunities to talk to university students from Beijin university..., sharing with me that they had a high suicidal rate on campus in certain years . These students's conceptual thinking is excellent, but.. not been able to address personal emotions, even not alert of personal emotional issues...

Parenting with strict discipline as quote from the news (but details not known) without nurturing on emotional development, to me is unacceptable.

Kid's self-esteem should be built on both external achievement and internal satisfaction, purly on external achievement sounds shaky to me.

Of course, my opinion is related to my personal experience and may certainly have bias or unfair to the father in the news as I do not know the details. Probably he is doing both training on his two kids, but the news or the publishers may select one side to report in order to pull up the book sales volum. Just to make some noise!

[ 本帖最後由 motherotk 於 11-11-18 10:55 編輯 ]

motherotk

Probbably the arguments come out from two completely different parenting positions and child development, like religion, very different value position.

Discipline/behavioral focused : focused on external stimulation and control, obvious outcome sometimes, quick results sometimes, fit for some kids and parents.

Self-reflective and self-directed motivation: focused on children's choice through the experiene of being respected, growth from within, long term and expect parents to wait, to accommodate, and to give space, rarely get quick fix...fit for some kids and some parents.., especially those who are more self-reflective ones, like to have self-talk, like to have more indepth reflections with self.