how do address EQ issues?

dch_07

my little girl is 20 months old.  She is super sensitive.  Often happy and cheerful, but when she wants something, she wants it and she is super stubborn.  She will cry until her eyes are puffy and voice hoarse.  In order not to pamper her, I let her cry for a while, then ask if she has finish crying.  When she say yes, then I explain or ask her in fact what she wants.  But the "crying spell" seemed to be increasing, not decreasing.  She often wants mommy to carry her, hold her.  Moan and groan and repeatedly cry "mommy, mommy, mommy"....How do I train a 20 months EQ?  She doesn't seem to listen when she has a crying spell.  Please share!